Thursday, February 11, 2010

What do I really want?

Posted by Alei at 2/11/2010

Seconds turn into minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days, weeks to months and months to year to a year, the unending passage of time. As cliché as it is, time really flies. It was just like yesterday when I graduated from college. And yet, it is nearly two years since had my final march at my alma mater. The clock ticked faster than I imagined.

So, how am I now? I would always feel uncertain and frustrated when asked this question. When with my friends, they would talk about things regarding their work, their bosses, their unfinished tasks and so on. I would just remain silent, gawk at them and listen, wishing I could somehow relate and join in their subject. I still have no job (I mentioned this for the nth time here). I am not lazy. I believe I am not. It’s just that I’m waiting for an opportunity to come but have no idea when it would or would it even materialize. Silly? Yes. I came to realize that now. Everyday, when I woke up, I would just stare blankly on space thinking of what to do. Without nothing in mind, I would just spend time playing games on Facebook, wait for the afternoon to open my small computer shop and that's it. Everyday is monotonous. I have wasted almost two years for something I’m not sure if it’s for me.

I promised myself to remain positive this year. There is no point of ranting about the past. It is what is “was”. Now is my time to do something. What to I really want? I still want to pursue my always-postponed studies in Australia. I have devoted so much time on it. Why would I give up if I made it that far already? And besides, what if, all I need is just a single and final try to make it? I am always open to the odds. I am having a go on it for the third time. But, I will look for a temporary job again. I should not be hesitant now, it is for the better. At least, when everything else fails, (I hope not) I have plan B laid out. However, I should make sure that it would not be a hindrance as I process my papers again for my visa. It is only a matter of months from now. I will be turning 23 already. I would not allow to myself to turn a year older again without achieving anything. I’m bored, real bored of my everyday life. I need change. I should and would do something about it. I am not getting any younger.

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1 comments on "What do I really want?"

nurseabie on Thu Feb 18, 09:39:00 AM 2010 said...

Hello Riel! We do have the same dilemma of what we want in our life. I already have work yet not in line with my course.Still, I don't know whether to practice my profession or not. I just hope that will be able to find what we want the soonest possible.

 

This is so me Copyright 2010Think Pink Credits to Gisele Jaquenod Modified by Alei