Blogging, Frustrations and a Hope

Time is gold, an adage I have took for granted before I knew blogging. I have been obsessed to online games. From crack of dawn until midnight, I played along with my siblings who share the same addiction. We have a shop that made it effortless for us to go online. From then and there, I have graduated and unemployed due to my uneagerness to work. I continued bumming around, played every chance I get. Little did I know, I was unconsciously wasting not only time, in addition, money. The latter can be earned again but time frittered cannot be brought back. I grew complacent living within the bounds of the virtual world not realizing how much resources I have piddled away.

In my search for a better and more productive, I recalled my high school friend Nick, of Pinoydreamer.com. I became his silent reader and soon decided to have my own blog. Doubtful and afraid that I may not express myself very well and that I may be criticized by readers,I still pursued it. I gave blogging a shot. To use my time wisely was my primary reason to blog. Why would I play when I can hone my English reading and writing posts through blogging? That was my motivation to start another journey online.

Having my own blog is similar to having my own room. I have my own realm of thoughts, my own rules applied. I can freely express my feelings. It is through this blog that I can immortalize my experiences, memories I would like to cherish as the years would pass.

Frustrations

My life after school is monotony, until now. I am left hanging on my own indecisiveness. Frustrations encumber me whenever I assess my career. A year and a month passed in a blur with me still slack. If only I followed my heart’s desire, I won’t feel this loss. I know I could have done better and bigger if only I settled for the right decision upon entering college. My greatest mistake, my choice of career path. Fear of failure along with limited financial resources incapacitated me to study the course that would attach a three-letter abbreviation after my name. I avoided failure unfortunately I stumbled with loss. What a fate. However, I still believe everything has a reason. Thus, I won't falter dreaming and acting to pursue it.

The hope

I have mentioned already in my previous posts my plan of studying and working abroad. My hope is heavily dependent on my IELTS exam result. The band scores will determine if I can make or break into the admission of the university. What somehow soothed my frustration and painted my Holy Week rainbow was the arrival of my IELTS results. Though it arrived few days late from the date it should have been delivered, my mood shifted immediately from pissed off to euphoric. I passed the university band score requirements. That was my first take. Was it beginner's luck? I remember Paolo Coehlo saying that when you're really close to what God sent you to be here, you are going to experience beginner's luck. I can't tell if I'm close already, its only He who knows. How I wish I am..

I was doodling this the night before the exam outcomes were released. I was really anxious on how it would come out. Law of Attraction and positivity were all I thought of then. I am so much glad for the good news. It was a good start though I still have several steps to walk through.

My blogging hobby was more helpful than I gave it credit for. I owe my band scores to this online activity. Through this, I read and write a lot enough for me to exercise and improve my rusting English. The only irony was, I got the lowest band score in writing. hehe I am well aware I was not able to complete the number of words required. Surely, it was the reason my score was penalized. Nevertheless, what really matters now is that I passed, I did it! Hopefully, the next few steps required to my ultimate goal will work conveniently.

(This was supposed to be my entry for Ate Lainy's contest. Due to my ever failing Internet connection during the Holy Week, I wasn't able to post it before the deadline.)